It’s fun responding to spam Jun24 '05

To follow up with my entry yesterday, I wanted to share a recent response I left for some spam I received yesterday.

I know you’re thinking, "You respond to spam??"

Yes, I try to as much as possible. That is... spam that sneaks past my email filters. I don’t respond to all spam that I receive – that would be a full–time job. However, for the four or five spam messages that sneak past my email filters (per day), I try to write some response.

So... Why do I respond to spam? Because it’s fun. And if someone can send me unsolicited crap, then I can send them crap right back.

I take my email personally, so if you spam me, I will find some way to make sure you get some kind of bogus response just to waste your time, as well.

You waste my time, I waste yours.

It’s pretty sad that I have to resort to this, but just deleting spam doesn’t solve anything. Another step is necessary.

Advertising is advertising – but obtrusive advertising is not right. Especially when the majority of it is for underground, illegal, or otherwise inappropriate products.

Juliette

What follows is the email thread with Juliette, from yesterday.

First email from Juliette:

Dear Matt Thommes:

Are you still looking for a position in Illinois?

I am Certified Professional Resume Writer and I just read through your online resume. If I were in your situation, I would write and format a few things differently while targeting Computers, Hardware jobs.

It would be my pleasure to provide you with a FREE evaluation of your existing resume. No costs! No obligations!

If interested, please click here and submit your most recent resume in MS Word format and please indicate a convenient time.

I’ll get back to you right away.

Sincerely,

Your Resume Writer

Unsubscribe: Click here

Here is my initial response:

Hi Juliette! I am so glad you emailed me! This is so nice of you!

It must be my lucky day!

I really need my resume to be fixed up.. so maybe we can meet over dinner some night next week. What do you think?

Since it’s a FREE service, I expect there to be no charges for the dinner, or anything else!

This is so cool!

Thanks!

Talk to you soon.

Your NEW customer,

MATT

To my surprise, Juliette responded this morning. Most of the time, it’s automated systems that send out spam, so responding to the email doesn’t do anything.

But, lookey here!

Hi,

I think that you’d have to travel to Queens, NY for that dinner. Other than that my FREE critique offer still stands.

Can you send me Word file?

Best,

Juliette

This is becoming very enjoyable. I am going to send the Ms. Juliette some bogus Word files... just to waste her (or his) time, some more.

Hey – it’s hardly skin off my back.

If you run a business with poor and ill–conceived practices (such as sending spam), then you get what comes your way.

Leave me the hell alone.

Categories: Email , Offbeat

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matthom is published and produced by Matt Thommes - an independent publishing enthusiast, mobile blogger, content creator, informative writer, web developer from Chicago. Never one to conform, Matt intends to promote the effect the web has on our lives, in an effort to intensify, instruct, and clarify all that is happening around us.

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