Social network etiquette: always follow up with new friends Aug03 '08

Reading a friend's post on Facebook etiquette, it got me thinking about how we make contacts and form relationships on social networks.

The post suggests that when you add a new friend on Facebook (and other social networks), you should follow that up with a direct message to the person explaining why or how you know them. It could just be something simple as:

"Hi, I've been following you on Twitter, and would like to get to know you further via Facebook."

That sounds kind of cheesy, but you get the idea.

It makes sense for social networks, like Facebook, that include lots of personal information, such as phone numbers, locations, etc. You wouldn't want to be handing out that information to just anyone.

Of course, if you don't know the person, you could simply deny their friendship request, and they won't see any of your information. However, this is easier said than done. The idea behind social networks is to meet more people, and how else can you do that if you deny friendship requests?

I typically "friend" anyone that has included useful information about themselves. If I sense that I could have something in common with the person, I don't take long to accept the friendship request.

I also send out friendship requests all the time, without ever stopping to think how the other person perceives it. Sure, I may have known a person ten years ago, but do I really need to "friend" them? In most cases, sure - you want to know what they've been up to. But just make sure to follow up with them immediately after they accept your friendship request. A lot may have changed in ten years, and they really don't know you at all anymore. Make them feel at ease by showing them you're still the same person, and you just want to catch up.

A few people have done this to me on Facebook, and I didn't think twice about it until now. It really is a "proper" thing to do.

I like the idea and I'm going to start doing it more often. Whenever I "friend" someone on a social network, I'll try to at least send them a simple message like:

"Thanks for accepting my friendship request. Looking forward to getting to know you better."

This lets the person know you are not some stalker or creep after their personal information. Show them you are a human (and normal) by sending a personal message.

Categories: Communication , Etiquette , People , Social Networks , Tips

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matthom is published and produced by Matt Thommes - an independent publishing enthusiast, mobile blogger, content creator, informative writer, web developer from Chicago. Never one to conform, Matt intends to promote the effect the web has on our lives, in an effort to intensify, instruct, and clarify all that is happening around us.

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